Speedo No Solo
by Speedo No Solo
Summary: A tragic love Triangle, between Three star crossed lovers Who traveled across universes to be together. But will Fate allow them to fly free or sink to pitiable lows in a quest for the riches of love. This is a story about Spock, Greedo and HanSolo. Join me on a story of adventure thats out of this world, and to see who really shot first.


Speedo No Solo

Chapter One: A spirited Beginning

******It was a cold, gray Chicago mornin on Tatooine. We find our bromantic heroes hittin' up the most hippin-est hoppin-est club at the Mos Eisley spaceport; the La El Los Cantina.**

Han: Yo greedo, muh negro. Whatchu drinkin' fool?  
Greedo: Just a Tronya, i got tired of appletinis 2 weeks ago.  
Han: ahh, i'll order myself one then,  
-after a few too many drinks, our heroes stumble back to the aluminium eagle, and fly off into space.  
While they're totally tripping balls, they fly through a stargate, and end up in a fender-bender with the U.S.S. Enterprise.

Spock boards the Aluminium Falcon, then takes one hard long lasting look at greedo and says "YOU. COME TO MY CHAMBERS. NOW. I'M GONNA  
GIVE YOU SOME FUCK, DAWG".  
Greedo shyly looked up at spock as if those were the words he was born to hear.  
"y-yes si-sir!" Greedo shyly replied.  
Spock swiftly returns to his chambers, slowly leaving behind a trail of rose petals as if to guide Greedo back to his room.  
Greedo quickly changes into his silk pajama thong.

Greedo proceeds to sensually saunter over to Spocks chambers. Greedo shyly opens the door, and to his surprise he finds Spock anxiously waiting.

******Spock lays half-naked on the bed, wearing only an eye-patch, and hello-kitty eye-liner.**

Greedo looks Spock up and down and says in a shy, yet turned on voice "your body is so... beautiful, the way your dry, leathery skin shines in the  
artificial moonlight, it gets me all hot and bothered".

Spock replies "oh baby, you ain't seen nothin' yet, guuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurl".

******Spock pulls a remote out from under the covers, and pushes a large phallic-shaped button. Suddenly, a disco ball shaped like a gigantic black dong lowers from the ceiling, and smooth-jazz begins to play. Greedo instantly recognizes the song. This song was the one his mother played while dancing at the local strip joint.**

Greedo began to softly weep, the memories of his mother dancing like a wild cat in heat made him feel unloved, that was until Spock gave him a reassuring touch on the buttocks.

******Spock gently brushed Greedos face, whisper "it'll be alright, I can be your mother tonight".  
Greedo looks up at Spock with a confused look on his face "but you're a man, how could you pretend to be my mom?" Greedo asks nervously as if his favorite restaurant was about to run out of hamburgers.  
His thoughts suddenly became filled with hamburgers, delicious, juicy, hamburgers covered in queso sauce. Little did greedo know, he would soon be covered in spocks blanco-queso sauce. Spock then shouted at the top of his lungs like a viking warrior  
"GREEDO, PREPARE YOUR ANUS".  
They skipped the fur-play and spock plunged right into the green rodians anus. Greedo let out a cry which would strike fear into the heart of the worlds mightiest of Z-Warriors.  
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAGH" Greedo exclaimed out of shock. To his pleasant surprise the feeling of spocks tiny man-drill pulsing inside his uranium mines filled his heart with glee. Greedo felt a joy only known to japanese school girls that get molested on trains on their way to cram school. Spock pulled out of the dark green anus,his dick covered in appletini flavored diarrhea. Just as quickly greedo grabbed the vulcans man-cock and he gave spock a Rusty Trombone. Spocks heart skipped a beat as the rodians tongue wriggled inside his poop-chute like a worm inside a fresh apple. Spock could take it no more, he grabbed the rodians head from behind him and thrust his phallic shaped schnozz into his gaping bosco boulevard, thrusting it in and out in complete ecstasy. Greedos nostrils soon filled with smelly poo that could knock even a taun-taun unconscious, but before he could pass out he had to let out a world breaking sneeze. Spocks asshole was now filled with flem, shit and appletini residue. Greedo and Spock continue to sensually care for each others no-no zones while we avert our attention elsewhere.**

Meanwhile back aboard the aluminum eagle Han is wondering where greedo is. Slowly his hands go down his pants, he begins fap out of sheer boredom. Thoughts of his mother; Olga, filled his perverted mind, which fueled his masturbatory dream. His leathery hand grabbed his rock solid pee-pee, slowly stroking it like it was the first time he ever tugged it. He imagined thrusting his throbbing meat-missle into her sweat soaked, semen-encrusted flabs of roast beef. As the stroking continued, some pre-cum shot into his mouth. Han spit it out onto his now throbbing cock, massaging it into his flesh and scalp. His hair then becomes shiny and lush, like a redwood forest covered in queso . 3CPO then walks in with his robo-cock flailing in the zero-gravity space winds. 3CPO's LCD display shows a slight blush, as he fidgets with his fingers, and twists his hips from side to side like a nervous schoolgirl who's about to confess her love for her kawaii-des onii-chan senpai.

Back on board the the enterprise greedo is cleaning the loads of cum out of his hairy anal cavity. Greedo turns to spock and says "help me clean up the mess you made" in a voice that resembles that of a child who was punished for something his sibling did.  
Spock smiles with an evil grin, as he gets on all fours and violently licks Greedo clean. Spock eats the spilled seed like a dog eating cat shit out of the cat box.  
"Ish dis enuff" said Spock with a mouth full of seed, shit and appletini's. Greedo then gives Spock the biggest kiss, and drinks the mixture from his mouth, swallowing it all down in one big-gulp. "Tastes better than the drinks back on Tatooine" Greedo said with a man-milk moustache on his upper lip. "let's go get your friend off your ship before he gets bored" Spock says in an attempt to cause Greedo to not notice the stud-seed on his face. "Yeah, I totally forgot about him. lets leave him for a while longer. i want to go one more round with you". Greedo pomfs his way onto Spocks bed.

We yet again avert our attention back to the ship, where 3CPO is having all of his ports filled with a cum and oil covered Floppy-Di(s)ck. C3PO tweaked like a 56k modem(C3PO had no choice for you see, this was rape. in order to endure the pain, his processer filled with thoughts of cylons crushing humans and those silly mechanical dogs that do back flips). Tears of oil dripped from his eye light tubes, as Han corrupted his operating system ( with the saddest kind of spunk ). In an attempt to re-boot the now deceased robot, Han accidentally runs a copy of "sissy spank me good time" off of his cloud server. 3CPO now turns to Han and demands that he "bend over for mommy, you've been a bad boy and need a spanking". Before han could even question what had just happened, 3CPO bends him over his knee, and his robotic arm turns into an electric fly swatter. 3CPO's first slap didn't do much damage, other than burning off Hans designer jeans. Hans now exposed ass now is fair game for the now sadistic sexbot. 3CPO slaps Hans ass, branding his smooth white ass with the words "fuck my tight ass-pussy". The malfunctioning sexbot picks up the message with his optical drive, and proceeds to comply. Suddenly, a 5 meter long probe appears from his pelvic plating. Han looks over his shoulder, and sees this massive titanium tube through the steam which is rising from his grilled ass. He sheds a single tear before the frantic robot plunges the entire tower into Hans grody gaper. the end of C3PO pelvic pulverizer pops out of Hans mouth. since robots have no ball or spooge, oil coats the inside of hans body as it slides in and out of his bleached anus, causing no serious damage to his supple body. This would kill a normal man, Han thought to himself as the massive robo bonner popped out of his mouth repeatedly, maybe he was chosen by god for some kind of mission. "Yes! that must be it" he exclaimed in a muffled voice robo dildo still exting his mouth. I will unite the universe against galactic oppression, I will free the slaves, restore the union and eat tons of queso. Thoughts of Glory and all the pussy that goes along with it filled the head of the stalwart young to Hans dismay, he did die! C3PO still fucking his lifeless carcass as greedo walks in the cockpit of the eagle."Nooooooooooooooooo" Greedo Cries. His one true love is dead. Spock hears Greedos cry of sexual frustration, and rushes in, just in time to hear Greedos declaration of love for Han. Spock, now shocked demands an explanation from Greedo.

Greedo explains to Spock that he isn't a "one guy" kinda gal. Spock, now in the ultimate shock is confused. "what do you mean?" shouted Spock. Greedo pulls down her pants, revealing that what spock thought was his penis, is actually her prolapsed vagina. "but, you stuck that into my ass, and thrust it in and out. you even came inside my ass!" proclaimed Spock. "Silly boy" Greedo replied with a sensual smirk. "I'm just a major gusher, it's like i have a river inside my body". "My body is like the Nile in more ways than that, my sandy-shores are very fertile, i'm already pregnant with 3 of your children". An they will be born in the fortnight. Spock with a bewildered look on his leathery face, proclaimed. "Whaaaaaaaaaat!?" Greedo told spock how he would have Han raise the kids as their father, vulcans and humans look the same to racist Rodians. But now with Han being dead from the use of CP3O; the fisto-robo: Anal Annihilator.

Greedo know that she can't raise the child to be on her own, her only hope now is to rely on her newest lover, Spock, the one minute lover.

Greedo now has to raise a child on his own. Greedo knows that Spock isn't the type to raise a child, he could barely keep his crew in order. The U.S.S. Enterprise had been on the verge of mutiny since the day they left the spaceport, Babylon Five. Greedo knew about Spocks troubled past, he knew of the royal rectal rampage that Spock endured by the hand of .  
Even knowing all of this, he still asked Spock to be the father to his own children. His asshole might not be the tightest, but boy was it the tastiest, and that's all he needed in a father.  
Spock's eyes welled up when Greedo got down on one knee and popped the question, and a boner. Spock knew deep in his heart that he couldn't stay aboard the Enterprise if he married an alien from the boonies, so he left the ship to the one fool with the crazy-ass eyes. Spock and Greedo said their farewell to Hans dead body, as they gave it one last fill-up of seed, ignoring the robotic corpse that was still stuck inside. They launched his cold, hard body out of the air-lock, and into the sun. A single tear gently rolled off of Greedo's face and fell upon the floor, as he stared out into the endless oblivion, never again would our two bromantic heroes be together again. As thoughts of this nature filled the lonely mind of the heartbroken Rodian, he noticed spock on the floor licking up the tears, like a dog licking peanut butter off the dick of an egyptian pharaoh. How could she have let this happen, greedo would never forgive herself for the death of Han, the first man to booty-blast her so hard that she spit up semen for a full week. The couple proceeded to the Aluminum Falcon so they could start the journey of parenthood together. Before they could leave, a droid walked into the falcon from the enterprise. R2-420-69 was a medical droid that Spock had stolen from the Galactic Empire of Fagets. "This droid should be useful when you give birth, right my honey-bear schnoogie-poo?". Greedo nodded in agreement, even though she knew her vagina was gaped wider than the Mariana Trench, so giving birth shouldn't be an issue. The couple shoved the droid into the storage space until they need him.

Speedo No Solo

Chapter Two: 101 Speedo's; The Galactic Reckoning

Two Weeks Later

**An announcement over the Millenium Falcons intercom,... " Spock Please Report to Sick bay, your brood is about to emerge". The voice that rang out through the halls was none other than Greedo herself, now weighing in at 900lbs, she stayed in the sickbay waiting for the child-birthing ritual to commence. Greedo new the truth,she told spock while onboard enterprise after their first snu-snu that she would give birth to three of Spocks bastards. This however was a lie, Greedo knows that roadins give birth in litters of one hundred and one, thats thirty three to thirty four little fuckers in three blood and pus covered sacks. Only greedo knows what's coming.  
Spock after hearing the message over the intercum gasped in horror. He wasn't in the sickbay, and the medical droid would soon bring his three llittle chitlins into this world!  
Spock put on his freshest pair of Air Johrdahns that he "borrowed" from that ruttie poo from the enterprise, and sped in the direction of his lover.**

As Spock reached the Medical Bay of the H.M.S. Aluminium Eagle, he slipped on a old condom he had left on the floor three days ago;spock hit his head on the floor and passed wakes up two hours later and continues towards sick med, as the doors of sick med bay slide open, Spock begins to exclaim with gley "Honey I Am Here,... What What Are you doing.?" He see greedo squatting over two tables pushed close together and the medical android beneath her using its robo fisting action. Greedo Says in a voice filled with intense pleasure while gasping for air, " Spock, honey Roadian cunts do not dilate, So Before the quickening our men use their giant choades, And since you were late to the ball I used the fisting program i got from Hans love droid to gape my goffer. "How could you do that" spock on my home planet, when our hubbies aren't we just find a horse or visit . No you stupid bitch how come you did not wake me from my coma for the fuck session and the birthing. Greedo replied well i was gonna but your shmekele is so small and pointy that i know it would not do the job. As they began to argue, about the worth of his cock, greedo begins to scream was so loud that it made shazam the genie jealous. Her cunt then erupted like mt. vesuvius, as if it were a cannon. But before spock could ask what was wrong, her egg sacks began to explode out of her like a mac blast tearing through a covenant capital ship, destroying the medical robo, turned Bruce Willis lookalike Sex Droid.

With the propagation complete complete spock declares, "My Boys" The looks of loves fills the emotionless vulcans eyes. For the first time, he feels what love is, while staring at the jiggling sacks. Greedo looks at spock with her empty eyes and tell him that she was not honest with spock. "What do you mean honest,... are they my kids?" Greedo tired from the birthing says, yes in a staggered voice. "Then what?" asks spock. Greedo Then Jumps to her Feet takes a deep breath and yells with unbridled passion "MORTAL COMBAT" just then a whistled version of the rocket power theme song began to play over the ship's intercom, greedo falls down after the Shout and passes out. Just then the sacks burst open the one hundred and one little vulcan roadian hybrids burst out from the sacks. To spocks surprise, his little abominations standing only two inches tall begin to fight. As one falls the other eat him, after eating, the foul creatures get bigger but there can be only one.


End file.
